Nail-It

Nail-It - Your complete security solution

The latest security craze from the West Coast is nailing your property to a wall, or similarly sturdy piece of architecture.

Don McCabe, vice president with security professionals Nail-It is confident that the technique will soon catch on in other parts of the world. "Theft is on the increase and naturally people are becoming more and more concerned about the safety of their valuables. Most burglars are not deterred by expensive wall safes or complicated alarm systems. But anyone who breaks into your home and sees your most prized possessions nailed to a wall is bound to think twice."

Trained nailing professionals

The system is cheap, effective and easy to install. Nail-It provides the hammer, a quantity of high tensile nails and clear, concise instructions on the best way to nail up that expensive jewellery, audio-visual equipment or antique furniture.

Alternatively, they can send trained nailing professionals around to your home to do it for you. And for those requiring extra-security, gluing, riveting and welding are also options.

"So far," says McCabe, "our customers have been very pleased with the service we offer. And recently we branched out into a whole new area. One local businessman, whose identity we have been asked to keep secret, approached us recently after learning that his family had been targeted by a kidnapping gang. We were on the scene straight away and stapled his kids to the floor. Rest assured, those little fellas aren't going anywhere."

Return to Archive 2

The Annual 2018

FREE!

The University of the Bleeding Obvious Annual 2018

Download PDF Version

Read online

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

Promo Image

Payday Porker

Get cash fast!

Promo Image

Paper Cuts

I fear I may need to take the rest of the day off.

Promo Image

Happysmiles Emergency Clowns

24-hour quality clown service

Promo Image

Doodle

All your doodling done professionally.

Promo Image

The Delusion of J Henry Proudfoot

J Henry Proudfoot looks up from his muddy trench...

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

Latest blog entries...

22 December 2017: How to Look After Your Cement Mixer

21 December 2017: Evening Classes at The University of the Bleeding Obvious

20 December 2017: A Ding-Dong over Duvets