Exotic Cheeses From Around the World

Kratopocktoff Red

A Russian Cheese developed by Stalin in the latter days of WWII and used mainly in hand-to-hand combat. Close proximity to the cheese can blind and even kill. The cheese was banned by Article 12 of the Geneva Convention, although specimins are still held in certain laboratories under special licence.

Knocktaki

A rich creamy cheese used by the Appalooki Indians to ward over to evil smells. Often served with tomato and small fried insects.

Troppo Bongo

A fruity cheese based on a recipe developed by Spannish Pirates in the 15th Century. Tastes like shit.

Rikeey

A creamy Cheddar variant developed specially for a 1993 episode of EastEnders.

Nepalese Snow Ferret

A small shrew-like creature that spends its time leaping between peaks in the mountainous terrain of Nepal. Not really a cheese as such, but a big hit with Ferret lovers everywhere.

Ungermangopoko

A mythical and mysterious cheese said to inhabit the darkest interior of the Amazon basin. Many local tribes speak of a large creamy yellow beast with throbbing purple veins, which preys on fruit and small dogs, often dragging them off into the jungle, still screaming. The sound of a mango in pain is a terrible noise to behold, hence the name, which in the local parlance means 'Hey this cheese makes mangoes holler like a stuck pig'.

Ikkywawa Blue

'Look Cheese!' yelled Captain Cook in 1742 upon discovering a whole island made of a hard, slightly limey cheese which he named after a Polynesian prostitute. Sadly his ship struck the cheese and sank, and all hands were lost. Still a popular cheese with the holiday makers who come here each year.


Return to Cheese Genome

 

Return to Archive 1

The UBO Annual 2018

The UBO Annual 2020

Coming Soon

Books and Free Downloads

The UBO Annual 2018 The UBO Annual 2017 The UBO Annual 2016 The UBO Annual 2015 The History of Rock The Bongo Lectures Kicking and Screaming Dead Peasants Recalled to Life UBO Volume 1 UBO Volume 2 Death Doom and Disaster Goldilocks and the Free Bears Find out more...


 

 

InstagramFacebookTwitter
Promo Image

Death by Pastry

Earth will be nothing more than a huge pie hanging in space.

Promo Image

Signs of the Times

New crime prevention initiative.

Promo Image

Bulbous Spock's Wine Guide

Top notch swanky grog

Promo Image

Fun Run

Council sued under Trades Descriptions Act.

Promo Image

Pretty Pictures

Keeping senior management out of trouble with colouring books.

Promo Image

Donald Fact's Fact Spanner

No. 128: Chinese Shelves.

 

Standard British NunsTeaching Carrots to FlyStandard British NunsExtreme Dinosaurs

 

The Bleeding Obvious Prime Time Gameshow Generator

Latest blog entries...

20 November 2019: Self Portrait

15 November 2019: Twatism

12 November 2019: It's All in the Game